I AM STILL WRITING THIS PAGE
SO, UM... YEAH
INCOMPLETE AND ILL THOUGHT OUT MAY BE GOOD DESCRIPTORS...
The big lie in ROTJ's opening scroll is that Jabba the Hutt is a 'gangster'
(not to mention 'rebels' struggling to 'restore freedom' to the galaxy - somewhat misleading)
It quickly becomes apparent there's much more to the Great and Mighty Jabba doo Hutt
So, where are we, anyway?
sure sure, Endor - but in the distance can be seen...something round
is it a moon of the forest moon?
or is this a gas giant that Endor orbits?
cuz I started to wonder if Endor was where the rebel base was in A New Hope
How many forest moons can there be?
they seem pretty similar
maybe that's too big a reach - that moon orbited much closer to the gas giant Yavin, after all.
I can think of one good reason to build it in the Yavin system though...
salvaged from the destruction of the original Death Star
Vader shows up to scare everybody into working harder for the emperor
considering Vader's ultimate goal to destroy the emperor, this might be a tactic to keep everybody busy
The sudden reveal of a second Death Star should seem lazy and tired. Strangely here it works.
normally I would think the audience would think this is bad writing
there's something about the crafting of these movies that feels real
And please note that the officer in charge pleads that he needs more MEN
NOT more eight foot tall sasquatches
cuz that's what the Expanded Universe likes to claim - that the empire uses slave wookies to build all their tech.
cuz, y'know, we know that wookies are great mechanics cuz Chewbacca is...
well, he's actually worse than useless, he's such a bad mechanic he causes more damage than he repairs...
and well, we never get to SEE slave wookies... EVEN in the new trilogy!
I'm tellin' ya, the Expanded Universe is like the Fox News of the Star Wars universe
you might want to check their sources
The emmisary droids are walking towards what is referred to as Jabba's Palace.
Does a gangster live in a palace?
So who does live in a palace...?
Threepio may be pulling a mind trick on Bib Fortuna, who theoretically is supposed to be screening Jabba's calls
So, ever wonder what's the deal with the droids heralding Luke?
Why didn't Luke show up first?
it's her boyfriend they're trying to save, right?
I suspect that members of House Amidala-Skywalker are not welcome in Jabba's palace.
Further, I imagine it's because of Anakin freeing the organic slaves on Tatooine and installing an imperial presence
there's bad blood with these two royal houses, Jabba's and Vader's.
It's why neither Leia nor Vader set foot on Tatooine in A New Hope
and it's the reason for all the delicate subterfuge here.
With all the accord due royalty Luke sends a personal message via royal emmisary droids.
Threepio is surprised at Artoo's mention of a 'message' and 'gifts'
has he not been informed of the plan?
Is this an act? or does no one trust the protocol droid with a secret?
We've seen R2 can be trusted with detailed, contingency-based schemes, and later he seems to know what the end-goal here is.
it's just difficult to believe this didn't come up on the long hike up to the palace doors.
in the hologram Luke looks like a priest, clad all in black, with his new lightsaber visible and hanging on his belt
He announces himself as "Luke Skywalker, Jedi knight".
Is the suggestion that Jabba DOESN'T know the name Anakin Skywalker?
Cuz I bet he does - I bet just about everyone knows who Anakin Skywalker is.
And he compliments Jabba fatuously;
"Greeting exalted one..."
"I seek an audience with your greatness..."
Is he just humoring Jabba's inflated ego?
No, I think it's quite clear Jabba is a royal ruler.
He is purported in the Expanded Universe to rule a spice empire from this desert world.
Which means, of course, that he is Emperor Leto II
yeah. dig it.
in King Jabba's dungeon we get two scenes that lend further proof for the idea of droid sentience
hey, it's the drunken monkey robot from ANH!
the droid foot torture scene seems silly if the assumption is that droids are 'robots' that can't feel pain.
this is the second time in these movies that that droids seem to be feeling pain (Threepio SAID he felt pain near the end of ESB!)
at this point it should be quite clear that droids can indeed feel pain.
And the boss-droid's use of "fiesty" and "respect" has nasty intonations that betoke sentience
So now Leia shows up.
Why does Leia disquise herself? a disguise concealing her gender and her entire face?
Why sneak into Jabba's Palace?
Why not land with a fleet and make demands?
Why not PAY OFF Jabba? Y'know, like Han was supposed to do? with the money the princess gave him??
Seriously, has anyone even thought of offering Jabba the fucking money Han owes him?!
Han is an asshole who could've prevented this entire mess
Even so, there can be no doubt there's some touchiness between House Amidala/Skywalker and House, er... Hutt.
There is some kind of tension here that doesn't make sense.
At least until we remember that Leia is Vader's daughter
this is the dungeon
beneath the throne room
where Jabba sit upon a dias
Jabba is royalty and so can beat some usefulness out of threepio
the only one in the room who has seen Jabba before are Han and Chewy
if Chewy says anything about it we as the audience are not treated to a translation.
Han recognizes the voice but is blind from hibernation sickness
I imagine his reaction to the sight of Jabba would be much like Marlon Brandos associates visiting after a few years...
"Holy shit, the last time I was here he was at least AMBULATORY!"
In the Expanded Universe the payment was part money, part spice (remember the "spice mines of Kessel"?) because Han is a spice smuggler.
Spice is a drug, according to every source in the Expanded Universe, so Han is a drug smuggler.
So, if Jabba is a drug-dealing gangster and that's bad...
How is it that Solo is a drug smuggler AND he's a good guy?
If Han can be a criminal and a hero, then Jabba can be a crime lord and a king
Luke enters the palace of King Jabba in a black cloak
Luke? Where ya been, Luke?
Where ya been...?
how long between ESB and ROTJ?
some have suggested years.
a few months?
I mean, Lando had to put in a job application, right?
work there for a while, not being suspicious, right?
but Boba Fett's still hangin' around...
but Boba Fett was hangin around in ANH - maybe he's Jabba's hired gunman?
Jabba is startled and disgusted at Bib Fortuna's suseptability to Luke's Jedi mind trickin'
you weak-minded fool!
Jabba's a sharpie, like Han (and Watto), and mind tricks don't work on him
Seriously - where ya been, Luke...?
Where ya BEEN, man?
He hasn't been training with Yoda.
He's been training with his dad.
Why do you think he's dressed in BLACK?!
it aint just because it looks cool
He has a brand new lightsaber - where did he get THAT?!
He's goin in big on this whole Jedi business
and he seems REALLY good with the mind trickin' now
The black signifies his family. Not just Vader.
it's easy to misinterpret even seemingly unimportant details in this alien epic.
For instance, the Rancor.
We call the giant beast in the dungeon beneath Jabba the Rancor because Threepio seems to name it by wailing "Oh no, the rancor!" when Luke is unceremoniously dropped into the pit.
This could be handy exposition, but given Threepio's penchant for melodrama and panic it seems far likelier he is referring to the "rancor" of the situation
that Rifftrax got it right
oh, the rancor
he beats the beast!
do NOT fuck with this kid
another display of the tractor-based technology that is mistaken for telekinisis
in what might be the definative example showcasing that the apparent telekinesis employed at times is actually technologoically based.
Luke reaches out with his robotic hand and a holstered pistol leaps through the air
In the dungeon there is no loose metalic object so Luke physically chucks a (more than likely non-metal) SKULL to hit a control panel.
So is this some kind of one-way magical telekinesis, he can only PULL objects.
Or just the prevelant and available repulsor/tractor field manipulating technology that is constantly shown?
what are they flying across the desert on?
oh, right - the ROYAL Barge
is this all supposed to be some kind of affectation of a hoodlum?
Jabba just likes being referred to as a king?
no, Jabba IS king
Is he the royal ruler of Tatooine?
"This is your last chance, Jabba. Free us or die."
Luke's cold ultimatum seems bravado
he is deadly serious
Luke gives Jabba three chances (something he may have picked up from the dastardly Kenobi)
like all the villains in Star Wars, Boba Fett gets a cheap death
(yeah, yeah, i know he supposedly survived...)
Vader does not get a cheap death, because he is the noble hero
Leia is in shackels and chains.
Is this because she's female or because of the quarrel with House Amidala-Skywalker?
True to his word Luke destroys Jabba and his royal barge
its when Luke puts a black glove over his damaged robot hand that we the idea starts to gel that he is following in his father's footsteps
what are referred to as Royal Guards
wait... ROYAL Guards?!
wow - big hint here
rise my friend
as you wish
either the emperor is senile or under Vader's mentalist sway
Luke's meeting with 'ghost'-Kenobi
This is no ghost. This is a video conference call.
for good reason - Luke would cut this old bastard
Kenobi is obviously alive and well
so why not talk to Luke live and in person?
Because Luke would cut him into little Kenobi-pieces like he fucking deserves to be
He doesnt deny lying!
He explains why the story he told Luke (which was NOT FUCKING TRUE!) was, technically, the TRUTH!
from a "certain point of view"
A CERTAIN POINT OF VIEW!?
What a disgusting and slimy excuse
find that asshole and chop him into smug little chunks
more machine than man - twisted and evil
kenobi's the one who spills the beans to Luke that Leia is his sister
your insight serves you well (you twisted old bastard- Luke is still being manipulated by this fucker
Han seems mad or suspicious when he says "I thought she was with YOU"
Do the ewoks immediately recognize Threepio as the emmisary of King Vader
its not in my programming to impersonate a diety
Vader is royalty and is rumored to be a virgin birth conceived by the midichlorians
sounds like the typical god-king bullshit
damn straight threepio is programmed not to impersonate a diety
he is the emmisary of Lord Vader NOT Lord Vader himself!
I never knew I had it in me
he's talking about the anti-grav unit imbedded in his thorax!
lukes friends are not impressed or amazed
Han should be shitting bricks - after all he's the one who's been from one end of the galaxy to the other and he's NEVER seen anything that would make him believe in the force
doesnt this qualify
i told you to remain on the command ship
my son is with them
are you sure
i have felt him
strange that i have not
he will come to me?!
'as you wish' clearly indicates Vader is successfully pulling off a huge mind fuck
I mean trick
He talks about the Dark Side a lot in 'Return of the Jedi' but when he refers to Luke as a Jedi, he does so with a snide voice.
He doesn't mention the Sith (again, no one ever does in the original trilogy) but we've already heard Vader referred to twice as a Jedi.
And his Force lightning?
That's obviously some sort of personal defense weapon.
Some sort of high-end tazer (he's a senior citizen, after all).
Similar technology was used by the Jawas to capture R2 - these people are advanced, they have hand-held Tesla cannons!