Empire Strikes Back


Lost Weekend

When the princess, the pirates, and Anakin's old droids escape the space worm, the scene cuts to Luke and 'Yoda' training already. Now, how long have they been training? Looks like a good many days, right? Except when we join back up with Leia and pals they're being pursued by Star Destroyers before going to Bespin. So this must be the very next morning that finds Luke swingin through the trees like and ape ape man. And from here the boy's only a few minutes away from having a major psychotic break and all around bad rootleaf trip.



So, what the fuck is 'Yoda' doing at this point? Why the hell has he mounted Luke for a ride through the bucker brush? Seriously, we didn't see him climb on anybody and tell them to do wind sprints in any of the new trilogy. Why here? I don't think this is Jedi training. We're very carefully shown almost no official Jedi training in episodes I, II, or III. This old green dude, who is NOT Yoda, is having a wee of a time with this kid's brain. 'Oh, you think you're a magickal warrior, eh? Here, eat this you will. hehehe...'

Ben Gitchel has suggested that rootleaf apparently scrambles the linear sequencer of your brain's linguistic center, explaining 'Yoda's' speach patterns. Funny, that is.



When Luke asks if the Dark Side is stronger, 'Yoda' says "no" three times. Any lawer worth their salt will tell you that such repititious denials are often affirmatives - the person is really saying "yes". But you're thinking, 'So what? This isn't Yoda, right?' Right - except Luke THINKS this is Yoda, and so he's taking everything this old man has to say to heart, mind, and soul. In fact what this old green dude has to say about the Force is nothing like what any verifiable Force practioner says about it. His definition of the Force is different, and more inclusive, than Kenobi's







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Star Wars---Empire Strikes Back---Return of the Jedi
Phantom Menace---Attack of the Clones---Revenge of the Sith